Today was Emancipation Day, a DC holiday. It is the anniversary of the day Lincoln freed the slaves within the District, nine months before he freed all slaves within the U.S. via the famous Emancipation Proclamation. It's interesting that we celebrate an event that is widely seen as motivated by political expediency. Emancipation of the slaves within DC was not based on the moral conviction that slavery is wrong, but rather in the hopes that freed DC slaves would fight for the Union side.
Today is also the one year anniversary of the massacre at Virginia Tech, the worst mass shooting in modern U.S. history, and as the Asian American community is well aware, perpetrated by one of our own.
I've realized that I've been extremely emotional this past week, knowing that today was approaching. The anniversary would have been hard in any case, both because of the number of people killed and also because the shooter was Asian. But I am all the more on edge because of the controversy surrounding China and the Olympics. I hate the fact that when an Asian American does something awful, we as a community feel shame and fear possible anger directed at the rest of us. But that is how things are. We know from experience that it happens. And I hate the fact that when criticisms of China arise, even legitimate criticisms, there is always part of me that wonders how much of it is motivated by anti-Chinese sentiment. But that is how things are. I know from experience that it happens. And I know that other folks of color have had similar experiences.
Today is Emancipation Day. I am wondering how it would be to be free of such doubts and fears. What would it be like to have someone of your ethnicity commit a crime and NOT have to think, "Oh crap, why did he/she have to be x?" What would it be like to discuss social issues involving one's own ethnicity and NOT always feel some part of it personally? I guess I'm wondering what it would be like to be white in this society. But maybe someday we'll all be free from this oppression.
And of course I hope for freedom from the pain for family, friends and survivors of that awful shooting.
May all beings be happy at heart.
Whatever beings there may be,
weak or strong, without exception,
long, large,
middling, short,
subtle, blatant,
seen & unseen,
near & far,
born & seeking birth:
May all beings be happy at heart.
- from the Karaniya Metta Sutta
After all, even now there are kind people of good will. With the magnitude of the violence and loss it would be so easy to hate, and many have. And yet others have hearts big enough to reach out to the family of the shooter, and some even have mourned for the loss of a stranger who did so much damage. In reading the Washington Post's coverage of Virginia Tech, it's these stories that broke my heart anew. But in a good way, keeping it open to hope.
With good will for the entire cosmos,
cultivate a limitless heart:
Above, below, & all around,
unobstructed, without enmity or hate.
- from the Karaniya Metta Sutta
